Dear My Wife's Dead Mother,


Please do not come back to haunt us for finally getting rid of your eighties-ass chairs. They are in the van to be taken away now.

I hope you will not poltergeist things or possess our landscaping or leave ghost shit in our food. Please understand that the new furniture arrives tomorrow and we had to make room.

Also you have to admit that those were the eightiesest chairs ever.

To honor them, I got those chairs out of our dreams and into my car.