Better than Drakkar Noir

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When you have a friend who makes ads for a living, the one-off text conversation jokes operate on a whole ‘nother level.

Gotcha

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It’s been two years since we brought him home all riddled with worms and bugbites. Two years of stepping on metal pencil eraser housings, of LEGO blocks chewed to Dali-esque dimensions. Two years of him giving a piece of his mind to, well, whatever it is past the northwest corner of the fence.

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Two years of gazing longingly at dogwoods, yearning for a love that can never be.

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Two years of perfecting his are-you-going-to-eat-that Oliver Twist face.

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Two years of jockeying for couch position with the kids. And mostly winning.

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Two years of mirroring my own distrust of authority with more forthrightness and courage than I ever showed.

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Happy Gotcha Day, boogs. Please stay off the dining room table.