My friends help me work around my weaknesses
My annual blessing: If anything red and screamy ever emerged from your vagina, then hey, here’s a greeting card.
CARROT5 just became my favorite weather app. Again.
Calendar app killing it on the “you get me” front
I tried to send a little levity to my nephew, who is laid up with a kidney stone, and his mom, and…welp
Kids, are you ready for an exciting career in mobile app development?
I made this last year as an admittedly smug one-off Twitter joke. I keep it as a reminder to (1) try to not so much with the smug already and (2) work toward a world where I can afford to use some of the energy currently spent on grim resolve for frivolous shit like being a smug jerk. Or, y'know, helping.
I figure once the Russians fix our cyber I…CRAP I'm being smug again, they make it SO HARD
He wants, more than anything, to be taken seriously.
You ever have a sneeze go all the way down to your feet? Seeing this felt like that.
Like a tuning fork going off on your dingdong
I was invented the same year as the modern Hollywood blockbuster. To celebrate this, I have taken a notion to watch the top 3 grossing films from every year of the first decade of my life. Some points worth considering here:
- The question of going by total worldwide vs. domestic box office. Domestic means I can do "Animal House" instead of "Jaws 2" and "Kramer vs. Kramer" and "The Amityville Horror" instead of "Moonraker", but I'm having a hard time justifying missing "Alien".
- I have seen a lot of these. Science dictates that I must do it again.
- Star Wars. The movie is called Star Wars. I don't give a good goddamn what George says.
- Related: I will only watch the despecialized editions.
- Wow, there's a lot of Stallone here. Can any one man process that much?
- Raiders, the movie that proved that it's okay not only to punch Nazis but also melt their faces off of their skulls, will be watched in black and white. I may do the actual Soderbergh silent cut. WHY NOT BOTH?
I've been hunting for vintage dinner plates online and my tracking cookie ads have gotten unexpectedly great:
This is WAY better than when they show me stuff I already bought on Amazon.
Never forget that everyone is faking it at least as hard as you are.
A reminder why hearsay isn't generally regarded as good evidence for criminal trials.
Enjoy this new poem from me, it is topical
It's just safer
Made a surprise for my wife:
Pretty excited about my new wallpaper, you guys.
Voice recognition software appears to be striving for a deeper truth than mere literal dictation.